Robert E. Sicard

Robert E. Sicard, 81, of Claremont, N.H., passed away Friday, Sept. 30, 2016, at New London Hospital in New London. He was born Oct. 21, 1934, in Greenfield, Massachusetts, the son of Raymond J. and Esther B. (Welcome) Sicard.

Robert attended Greenfield High School, where he played right tackle for the Greenfield football team and was chosen for the All Western Mass team. Following graduation with the Class of 1953, he enlisted in the U.S. Army and proudly served his country as a high speed radio operator during the Korean War attaining the rank of Corporal. After honorably completing his military service, Robert began a four-year apprenticeship in optician in Hanover, New Hampshire. In 1958 he met and married the love of his life, Antoinette (Toni) Gorczakoski. Upon receiving his certification, Robert and Toni founded Sicard Opticians in Springfield, Vermont, where he worked tirelessly to support his growing family. He had countless loyal and happy clients who over the years sought out his expertise and excellent customer service. In 1989, Robert was honored for his quarter-century of service as a dispensing Guild Optician by the National Academy of Opticianary. For his more challenging patients he fitted artificial eyes, hearing aids and cosmetic devices until his retirement in 1999. He also loved woodworking and carpentry, both skills learned from his admired uncle, Richard W. Campbell. Robert was an avid sportsman enjoying fishing, hunting, fly tying, snowmobiling at the “Dog House” in Pittsburg, New Hampshire, and spending time with his beloved wife, Antointette and sharing his love of the outdoors with his children and grandchildren.

He leaves his wife Toni of 58 full and beautiful years; his cherished daughters, Victoria Sicard Forte and husband Andrew and their two childrenm Danielle Forte and Christopher Sicard Forte of Mansfield, Massachusetts, Elizabeth Sicard Foy, husband Stephen and their three children, Caroline, Douglas and Robert Foy of New London, and Mary Sicard of Claremont. Sisters Sandra Sicard Herzig and Pamela Sicard Grimshaw survive him as does close cousin Richard H. Campbell and wife Jeanne and many nieces and nephews. Robert was predeceased by his parents, Esther and Raymond Sicard.

Calling hours will be from 5 to 7 p.m. Wednesday, Oct. 5, at Kostanski Funeral Home, 220 Federal St., Greenfield, Massachusetts. A liturgy of Christian Burial will be held at 11 a.m. Thursday, Oct. 6, at Holy Trinity Church, 133 Main St., Greenfield, Massachusetts. Burial will follow at Calvary Cemetery. In lieu of flowers, memorial contributions may be made to Disabled American Veterans, P.O. Box 14301, Cincinnati, OH 45250. Sympathy messages available at www.kostanskifuneralhome.com.

  (Click on photo to enlarge)

Read More »

Anthony J. Shumski

Anthony “Tony” Joseph Shumski, 85, of East Amherst, NY, passed away September 29, 2016.

Tony was born in Springfield, Vermont on July 30, 1931, and graduated from Springfield High School in 1949. He continued his education and graduated from Niagara University in 1983.

Tony held various positions in business with the majority of his career in purchasing at Spaulding Fiber, Tonawanda NY. He proudly served his country for 35 years in the Vermont/Michigan National Guard and the U.S. Army Reserves, retiring as a LTC.

Tony was a long-time member of the Jurek American Legion Post.

He was preceded in death by his daughter, Teresa Marie Shumski; his brothers Hendry and Arthur Shumski; and his parents, Lena and Joseph Shumski.

He is survived by his wife of 62 years, Mary Lou Shumski; his brother, Stanley Shumski; son, Peter Shumski; three grandsons Christopher (Ali), Alexander and Benjamin Shumski; great grandson, Cooper Shumski, many nieces, nephews and cousins.

The service is Monday, October 3rd, at 10:00 a.m. at Saint Mary’s Chapel, Swormville, NY. In lieu of flowers, memorials to the charity of your choice. Calling hours are 6 to 8 p.m. Sunday, October 2nd at Urban Brothers Funeral Home at 6685 Transit Road, East Amherst, NY.

  (Click on photo to enlarge)

Read More »

Ralph Dodge

Ralph “Cap” Dodge, 97, of Concord, N.H. died Wednesday, Sept. 26, 2016. A man of integrity with a sunny disposition, he was a loving husband, father and gentleman. The son of Leslie and Hazel (Freeman) Dodge, he was born and grew up in Plainfield. After graduating from Kimball Union Academy in Meriden, he attended Wentworth Technical Institute. He married Ruth “Bunny” Berry of Alton, New Hampshire, in 1942.

He was a World War II veteran, serving in Japan with the Navy on Landing Ship, Tanks (LST). For many years he worked as the supervisor on the test floor at Bryant in Springfield. A builder at heart, Cap could build, or fix, most anything. He designed and built homes, including one for his family in Claremont.

An active outdoorsman and athlete, Cap enjoyed golfing, skiing, fishing, hunting, and baseball. He was a member of Cape Neddick Country Club, charter member of Mount Sunapee Ski Club, and built and operated the first ski tow in Claremont.

Upon retiring he and his wife Bunny spent winters in Florida and summers in York Beach, Maine. They moved to Havenwood in Concord, New Hampshire, in 2009.

He is survived by his son, David Dodge and daughter in-law, Kathryn, of Peterborough; numerous nieces, nephews, grandnieces and nephews; and many friends whom he considered extended family. There will be a private service for the family.

  (Click on photo to enlarge)

Read More »

Albert L. Guerin Sr.

Albert L. Guerin Sr., 71, of Springfield, died Friday, Sept. 23, 2016, at Dartmouth-Hitchcock Medical Center in Lebanon. He was born April 30, 1945, in Enfield, New Hampshire, the son of the late Joseph and Mary (Lawrence) Guerin.

Albert and his wife of 35 years, Jane (Messer) Guerin, were married July 24, 1981.

He loved camping, fishing and trips to Maine; also being with family and friends and watching the Red Sox.

He worked in woolen mills, machine shops and woodworking shops.

Albert was predeceased by his parents; sisters Jennie Chamberlain, Lenna Judd and Mamie Nedeau; and brothers Tommy Guerin, Harry Guerin, Ernie Guerin and Fred Guerin.

He is survived by his wife, Jane Guerin; son Albert Guerin II of Claremont; daughter Emily and her husband, Charlie Webster, of Claremont; sister Bernie and Lenny Parker of Lebanon; brothers Walter Guerin of Enfield, New Hampshire, Andy and Joy Guerin of Plainfield; Gerald and Mary Guerin of Ocala, Florida; six grandchildren and six great-grandchildren; many nieces, nephews and cousins.

At the family’s request, there will be a graveside service at Oakland Cemetery in Springfield at a later date and will be announced at that time. Davis Memorial Chapel in Springfield is assisting the family with arrangements.

  (Click on photo to enlarge)

Read More »

Sandra K.Chase

Sandra Kay Chase of Randolph died suddenly Friday, Sept. 23, 2016, at Yale-New Haven Hospital in Connecticut.

Sandy was born April 30, 1945, in Randolph, Vermont and was raised there. She raised her family and worked in Springfield, Vermont and Wolcott, Connecticut. She retired to Arizona, where she could worship the sunshine and warm temperatures.

She is survived by her four daughters, Kay Sumner, Rae Kangas, Suzette Pinney and Nanette Owens; 10 grandchildren and four great-grandchildren. Sandy was the daughter of Raymond Eugene Chase and Mary Francis Downing and the youngest of seven. Surviving siblings are Harriet M. Chase and Carolyn Tandy.

No services will be held. ​

  (Click on photo to enlarge)

Read More »

Barbara W. Stevens

Barbara Winona (Matthews) Stevens, 93, of South Reading, died Sunday, Sept. 18, 2016, at Elm Wood Center in Claremont, New Hampshire.

She was born May 19, 1923, in Greensboro, the daughter of Arthur Alonzo Matthews and Inez Jeanette (Wilkins) Matthews. She attended the Old Stone School House in South Reading.

She married Maurice Clifford “Barney” Stevens on March 15, 1941. Mr. Stevens died July 14, 2000.

Mrs. Stevens is survived by her daughters Pauline Addie Bostock of Ludlow and Peggy Ann Stevens of South Reading; her twin brother, Basil Matthews; eight grandchildren; 10 great-grandchildren; five great-great-grandchildren; and many nieces, nephews and cousins.

She was predeceased by two children Winona Jeanette Roundy and Matthew Morris Stevens; her brothers Oral, Clifford, Howard, Leon, Guy, Ellsworth and Gerald; her sister, Marion Brooks; and three great-great grandchildren.

Friends may call from 6 to 8 p.m. Friday, Sept. 23, 2016, at Davis Memorial Chapel in Springfield. A funeral service will be held at 2 p.m. Saturday, Sept. 24, 2016, at the Old Stone Church in South Reading, with the Rev. William Sheldon officiating. Burial will follow in the South Reading Cemetery.

  (Click on photo to enlarge)

Read More »

Willo T. Scott

Willo T. Scott, 84, of Fairfax left us on Thursday Sept. 15, 2016.

She was born Feb. 22, 1932, in Claremont, N.H. She was predeceased by her husband of 62 years, Chester P. Scott Jr. and her son, Bud Scott.

A funeral Mass will be held at 10 a.m. on September 30, 2016, at St. Luke's Catholic Church in Fairfax, Vt. There will follow a get-together at 15 Old Academy St., Fairfax. The family also invites you to view further information and share your memories by visiting www.awrfh.com.

  (Click on photo to enlarge)

Read More »

Gary G. Surething

Gary G. Surething, age 55, passed unexpectedly at his home in Myrtle Beach, SC, on September 15th, 2016.

Gary was born in Springfield, VT, on December 21st, 1960, to Sherrie and George Surething.

He is survived by his loving daughter, Amanda Surething; his fiancée, Cindy Hemstetter Kouns; his sisters Deborah Gruber, Sherrie LeBlanc and Eileen White; along with many other loved ones and friends.

Gary will always be remembered for his love of Harleys, Fords, The Patriots, and being the handiest man with a heart of gold. His family will be having a celebration of life for family and friends to attend at the Springfield Moose Lodge in Springfield, VT, on October 15th at 4 p.m.

  (Click on photo to enlarge)

Read More »

Blanche J. Gray

Blanche J. Gray, 78, died at her home Monday, Sept. 12, 2016, surrounded by her family.

She was born Feb. 8, 1938, in Manchester, the daughter of Edward and Leona (Saunders) Bruso. She attended schools in Hydeville.

On Feb. 27, 1960, she married Randall H. Gray in Rutland.

She was a mother and homemaker, working as a nanny and caregiver and later working at Springfield Convalescent Center, now known as Springfield Health & Rehabilitation Center.

She loved her flower gardens, bird watching and the occasional visit to a casino.

She is survived by her husband of 56 years, Randall Gray; daughter, Sheila McNamara of Springfield; sons Gary A. Gray of Charlestown, New Hampshire, and Randy A. Gray of North Springfield; seven grandchildren; one great-grandchild; brothers Melvin Bruso and George Bruso; sisters Nancy Young, Marion Lulek and Audrey Mainolfi; nieces, nephews and cousins.

She was predeceased by her parents; a brother, Edward Bud; and a sister, Jane.

Friends may call from 6 to 8 p.m. Friday, Sept. 16, 2016, at Davis Memorial Chapel. Memorial contributions may be made to the Visiting Nurse Association & Hospice of Vermont & New Hampshire, P.O. Box 976, White River Junction, VT 05001; or to Springfield Humane Society, 401 Skitchewaug Trail, Springfield, VT 05156.

  (Click on photo to enlarge)

Read More »

Joan M. Carlisle

Joan Marie (Gilson) Carlisle, 82, of Cavendish, died suddenly September 12 after a short illness.

Joan was born April 22, 1934, in Cavendish, Vermont, daughter of Jesse and Clarinda (Briggs) Gilson. She attended school in Cavendish, and graduated from Chester High School, Class of 1952. She married Leonard Carlisle February 7, 1953, in Proctorsville, Vermont. They resided in Cavendish.

She was employed in banking and health care, working many years at the Black River Health Center as a bookkeeper for Dr. Eugene Bont, and at Springfield Pediatrics for Drs. Clattenberg and Owen, until she retired.

She enjoyed knitting puppet mittens and baby sweaters, word puzzles, crosswords, cryptoquotes and playing cards. She and Leonard traveled to California, Tennessee, Florida and Maine. She loved all her family and the time spent with them. Everyone was family if she loved you, whether you really were or not. She loved to giggle with her daughters and her girlfriends. She was a great listener and had great compassion for others. She and Leonard thoroughly enjoyed lunch every day at daughter Sheryl’s, and Sharon Godfrey’s, restaurant, the Café at deLight, Ludlow, where they visited with everyone and made many friends. She attended Holy Name of Mary Catholic Church and was a member of the Altar Society.

She is survived by her husband of 63 years, Leonard; they have four daughters Roxanne and Michael Mackey of Nashville, TN; Theresa and Peter Southworth of Ludlow, VT; Sheryl Guica and Howard Paul of Ludlow, VT; and Lisa and Scott Spooner of N. Chittenden, VT; 5 grandchildren Desiree Guica, Adrienne Guica, Bradley and Kim Southworth, Aaron Southworth and fiancé Ashley Adamcik, and Cole Spooner; 3 great-grandchildren Alessia Guica, Cadence Paul and Connor Southworth; one sister Patte and Vern Mossey, Rutland, VT; many treasured nieces and nephews, and other relatives. She is predeceased by her parents; one brother, Ronald Gilson; sister, Janet Pikkarainen; and infant sister, Marilyn Gilson.

The wake will be held Thursday, September 15, from 5-7 p.m. at the Adams Funeral Home, 12 Meadow St. Ludlow. The funeral will be Friday, September 16, at 1:00 p.m. at the Annunciation (Catholic) Church, in Ludlow. Private Burial will follow at the Cavendish Cemetery. A reception will follow at the Annunciation Church, where family will greet everyone following the burial. In lieu of flowers, memorial contributions may be made to the American Diabetes Association, Vermont Division, 77 Hegeman Avenue, Colchester, VT 05446.

  (Click on photo to enlarge)

Read More »

Thelma S. Wilkins

Thelma Stearns Wilkins, 88, of Springfield, died Thursday, Sept. 8, 2016.

She was born March 19, 1928, in Pomfret, the daughter of Rodney Cecil and Bertha (Jonhnson) Bartlett. She graduated from Woodstock High School in 1946.

She married Raymond "Bud" Stearns on July 4, 1947, in Springfield. Mr. Stearns died in 1976. She went to work at Lloyd's Sundry, then bought and ran the business from 1960 to 1963. She also worked for Snow White Laundry as a bookkeeper in the late '60s.

She married Ronald Wilkins June 18, 1983. They lived in Londonderry and owned their own cleaning business. Mr. Wilkins died in 2011 and Mrs. Wilkins moved back to Springfield in 2014.

She enjoyed sewing doll clothes, gardening, reading, doing puzzles and playing bridge.

She is survived by her sons Raymond "Butch" Stearns and Randy Stearns, daughters Carroll Comstock and Marjorie Edson, seven granddaughters and four great-grandchildren, her brother Burnside Bartlett, her sister Gladys Bartlett and many nieces and nephews.

Mrs. Wilkins is predeceased by her husbands; four brothers, Bernard, Stuart, Stanley and Forrest; and a sister, Beatrice.

A funeral service will be held at 1 p.m. Sunday, Sept. 25, 2016, at Davis Memorial Chapel in Springfield, with a reception to follow at a location to be determined. Memorial contributions may be made to the Springfield Humane Society, 401 Skitchewaug Trail, Springfield, VT 05156. -

  (Click on photo to enlarge)

Read More »

Franklin A. Poole

Franklin A. Poole, 83, died Thursday, Sept. 8, 2016, at Springfield Hospital.

He was born June 2, 1933, in Portland, Maine, the son of Atwood and Sheila (Barney) Poole. He graduated from Springfield High School.

Mr. Poole served in the Army during the Korean War.

He was employed as a salesman for Jones & Lamson Machine Tool Co. for many years, and Textron Co., working in Iowa as a regional sales manager. He was later employed as a machinist and inspector with Sonnax in Rockingham.

He was a life member, chaplain and past commander of VFW Post 771 in Springfield. A member of Lodge 41 F&AM in Springfield, a member of the Lions Club and a member of First Congregational Church in Springfield. He was also a justice of the peace in Springfield for many years.

Mr. Poole loved hunting and fishing and spending time outdoors.

He is survived by a son, Daniel Poole of Springfield; a sister, Catherine Poole of Lebanon, N.H.; two grandchildren; several nieces, nephews and cousins.

He was predeceased by his parents; one daughter, Tracey Poole Zell; one brother, Richard Poole; and one sister, Sheila Poole.

Friends may call from 10 a.m. to noon Saturday, Sept. 24, 2016, at Davis Memorial Chapel in Springfield. A reception will follow at VFW Post 771 in Springfield.

Burial will be in Vermont Veterans Cemetery in Randolph at a later date. Contributions may be made in his memory to VFW Post 771, P.O. Box 568, Springfield, VT 05156. Arrangements are by Davis Memorial Chapel in Springfield.

  (Click on photo to enlarge)

Read More »

Robert W. Ward

Robert “Bob” Wilson Ward, 81, passed away on Wednesday, September 7, 2016 in Hyannis, Mass. He was born April 3, 1935 to Bernard and Gladys Ward in Springfield, Vt.

Robert went to school in Springfield, Vt. Graduated from Springfield High School in 1954, then went on to school for two years in Scranton, Pa. On June 20, 1959 he married Judith Anderson and became a resident of Chatham, Mass. On April 1, 2000, Robert married Sandi Eldredge in Chatham. Robert was a retired sergeant of the Chatham Police force for over 15 years as well as several other vocations such as carpentry and landscaping.

He was a man of many talents… Solider in Massachusetts National Guard for 4 years. Chatham volunteer firefighter for over 15 years. He worked with several others including Ron McVicker and Ed Harding to bring youth hockey to Chatham. Several businesses in landscaping, home carpentry, boat rental, and a sports store in Chatham. He was a Mason. All of these endeavors reflect a life of service to his family, friends, and community.

Survivors include his 1st wife Judith; and his 3 sons, Jeffrey Ward of Concord, Charles Ward of Chatham, MA, and Richard Ward of Braintree, MA; 3 grandchildren Morgan, Schuyler, and Spencer; his 2nd wife Sandi Eldredge and 2 step children Michael Eldredge and Cathy Spooner; 4 step grandchildren Cameron, Emily, Logan, and Lilly ; 6 sisters Virgina Blake, Elizabeth Koledo, Marilyn Lewis, Prisilla Collin, Sylva Dubanedich and Patricia LaRoche; 2 brothers Richard Ward of Sun City, Ariz., and James Ward of Winooski, Vt.; as well as many nieces, nephews, other relatives and friends. He was preceded in death by his parents; 4 Sisters Virgina, Elizabeth, Marilyn, and Priscilla.

A time of gathering will be held on Saturday, September 24 from 11:00 a.m. until 2:00 p.m. at the Nickerson Funeral Home in Chatham, Mass. Online condolences can be left on Robert Ward memorial tribute at www.nickersonfunerals.com. In lieu of flowers please make memorial donations in Bob’s name to the Chatham Police Association, 249 George Ryder Road, Chatham MA. 02633 or American Diabetes Association, 1701 North Beauregard Street, Alexandria, VA 22311 / 1-800-DIABETES(800-342-2383)

  (Click on photo to enlarge)

Read More »

Dorothy G. Shaw

Dorothy Gordon Shaw died Aug. 14, 2016, at Riverview Place in Fargo, N.D., at the age of 101.

Dorothy Agnes Gordon was born in Hartford, Conn., to James Murray Gordon and Margaret Jane Gordon. She graduated from Hartford High School and worked as a secretary-bookkeeper for a heating contractor for nine years.

In June 1941, she married Richard S. Shaw. They lived for many years in Springfield, Vt., where Mrs. Shaw worked as bookkeeper for the Springfield School System.

She was active in Cub Scouts as a den mother. She was a volunteer nurse’s aide, assisted at blood drawings for many years, and served as treasurer of the Springfield Chapter of the American Red Cross.

She was a member and president of the Springfield Garden Club and Home Efficiency Club and a member of the Needlecraft Club, Reader’s Club, and Cosmopolitan Club, as well as an active member of the Springfield Congregational Church.

In 1988, they moved to Riverview Place, a retirement community in Fargo, N.D. In 2013, she moved into Crosshaven, an assisted living facility at Riverview Place.

Dorothy was preceded in death by her husband, Richard, her parents, three sisters and two brothers. She is survived by two sons, Richard M. Shaw of Fargo and Russell G. Shaw of Hopkinton, N.H.; four granddaughters; and four great-grandchildren.

A memorial service was held at Riverview Place on Aug. 23. Interment will be in Oakland Cemetery in Springfield, Vt., at 1 p.m. Friday, Sept. 16. Local arrangements are by Davis Memorial Chapel, Springfield.

  (Click on photo to enlarge)

Read More »

Jeffrey A. Blodgett

Jeffrey Alan Blodgett, 33, of North Walpole, NH, passed away on the early morning hours of September 4, 2016, at Dartmouth Hitchcock Medical Center surrounded by his loving family. Jeffrey (“Jeff”) was taken from us so tragically and too soon.

Jeff was born on January 23, 1983 in Springfield, VT. He is survived by his girlfriend, Steffanie Perham, two children Rylee Alan Blodgett, 11, and Natalie Ann Blodgett, 18 months, and their family pet, Duke all of North Walpole. His father, Alan Blodgett and his wife, Joanne “Jo”, Jeff’s loving step-mother of Charlestown, his mother, Barbara Collins and her husband, Steve of Springfield, VT; a sister, Jennifer Stickney and his brother-in-law, Scott Stickney of Lempster, NH, a sister, Sarah and brother, Samuel Collins both of Springfield, VT; his maternal grandparents, Jim and Patricia Mitchell and his paternal grandparents, Gene and Leona Blodgett of Florida and Richard and Peggy Paskerta of Charlestown. He is survived by many cousins and other family members as well as many close friends whom he adored. Jeff was outgoing, loving, caring and always worked hard to provide for his family. A loving father of two wonderful children Rylee “little man”, and Natalie, “little princess” or Nat. A brother who was loved and who loved back and was always there. A genuine person whom was loved by all. We will miss him always, love him forever and never forget the great human being he was. Jeff was a man no one could hate, a person who was loved by so many and who touched all of our hearts in so many ways.

He enjoyed driving his convertible with the music blaring as he rolled down the streets of our towns. He enjoyed fishing, hunting, camping and has taught his son to enjoy some of those same things which drew them so close.

We will sadly say our goodbyes to this beautiful person far too soon, please join our family to pay your respects to this beautiful person at the Charlestown Memorial Chapel on Thursday, September 8th from 5 to 7 PM.

A graveside service will be held in Oakland Cemetery in Springfield, VT on Friday, September 9th at 2 PM. A reception will follow in the Charlestown VFW.

In lieu of flowers, please donate to his children’s Gofundme account or contribute to their trust fund at Claremont Savings Bank. Please call Claremont Savings Bank for more details. Funds for the children will go towards what they need and will help in their futures. Jeff always wanted the best for his children and we will all come together to ensure we carry on his wishes.

  (Click on photo to enlarge)

---

I'm a writer, so I write. But there are times when no words can even describe the chaotic pain of pure heartbreak. Today is that day. But I'm going to try. I got the call no parent wants to get in the middle of the night. It was from the father of my oldest son telling me our son was critical and it didn't look good at all, yes... heroin. It's the worst sight ever seeing your child hooked up to life support and totally unresponsive, no "Hey Ma" nothing, nothing but the beeping of all the equipment that prevents you from holding your child to your heart. All I could do was lay my hand on his bare shoulder. So I did. This morning at 4:10 am my oldest son Jeff, left this world, ironically on Labor Day weekend. I felt him leave his body and within 5 minutes his heart beat it's last beat. I watched my white hand print of his bluish skin fade and disappear as he did. So now I sit here looking at his last message to me and in closing he said "So till next time, love ya." So until next time my baby boy, there hasn't been a day that I didn't think of you, a moment when I didn't love you with all my heart, and I will see you again... next time.

---

As I sit reflecting on the life of my oldest son, I go back in my mind to his birth. He was born at 1:23 am on 1/23/83. 1,2,3 sounds like a march, a rhythmic beat. This child of mine had never quite mastered that "common" marching beat. I guess you could say he marched to the beat of his own drum. And I applaud that now as I promote individualism, but when he was young he struggled to fit in with most things, other peers, school, etc and that was quite a challenge for young, first-time parents... His will was strong, and I always had the feeling he didn't feel like he fit in this world. We all go thru periods where this happens but for Jeff it seemed like his entire lifetime. He was easily influenced by things, his peers, society, the material world, and he grew up "needing" a lot, to help fill some kind of void maybe. Impulses were very prevalent in his life and it caused him to make choices that to the rest of us seemed not thought out or like he wasn't using common sense at the time. I guess everyone's idea of "common sense" will be different. If you're marching to the beat of your own drum, that beat will be your own. When the influence from drugs came into his life it was at a time of huge transition for him as we had just moved back to Springfield from living in Massachusetts for three years and he was now a teenager being thrown back into a different school system. That's not easy for all kids to adjust to and when they're struggling inside it's even harder. I know this myself because I attended three different high schools. Drugs seem to find their way to the kids who need to escape this reality or numb themselves to it so they don't feel it hurting them anymore. Sadly, they don't realize that their reality gets even more painful the more they use drugs to try and escape it. My son kept saying he "just wanted to feel good." For a mother looking back at her adult child's life, I see things that I would "feel good" about if I were in his shoes but things aren't always so obvious. I saw a man who at times, worked out like a competitive body-builder, ate the right foods to fuel his body, he could tell you everything about every supplement that you could use to better your health and then there's, heroin. All that work he put into fixing the outside of his body the way he wanted it but poison into the veins that nurtured it. "Feeling good" just took on a whole new meaning and priority in the life of an addict. Everything you created that was good and wonderful in your life is now in the shadows of this monster drug and in one desperate hour of needing to feel good so many lives are flipped into the worst chaos imaginable.

My memories today seem to be pre-selected for me, while I'm trying to recall good ones with my son, mostly the baby years...I'm being shown some things from his adult life that are putting some of the puzzle pieces together. Here I was driving along, listening to Yelawolf sing Till It's Gone, with these lyrics jumping out at me and taking on a while new meaning...

---

I thought of all the times he got into legal jams and I had to distance myself in every way as hard as it was, emotionally, mentally and physically no matter how much I loved him I couldn't bail him out of his troubles because I knew it would enable him to keep coming to me for help. Sadly, that was the only time I heard from him...but I get it all now. He had the pride of a fighter for his cause but maybe the fight was something he didn't understand yet and I didn't understand his cause either. So as harsh as those lyrics sound, I know there's also love behind of them as parents don't want our kids struggling but they do need to find their own place in this cruel world, some never do sadly.

His movie preferences popped up while I was driving my youngest son to school this morning, and at first I wondered why, then when I saw the compilation of movies and the common theme it all clicked into place. The movie Southpaw came up and a few other fight movies. I think we all gravitate to movies, books, poems, anything that touches something deep within us, a hit to the feels and a common shared experience. If we can relate it to our own life in some way it's almost like it was designed specifically for us. Myself, I never got into fight movies, sat thru a few, felt the feeling of victory the actor felt and understood his plight, but the violence just did something to me I guess. If someone relates to struggling, fighting their way though life then I'm sure these movies would feel encouraging to them. Maybe women feel the warrior spirit in a different way, a more emotional one without the violence. My son said he cried like a baby while watching Southpaw, and I watched it, I saw why. Jeff connected with that masculine image of a warrior who won his battle with life on a deep level because of his own struggles. The fight to be something, to fit in and be acknowledged.

Read More »